On being slow

I was reading this post today about being "the slow guy" on group rides. It's a really crappy feeling. I've been riding for about 15 years now, I've raced some, but not in a long time, and not that much. Still, I like bike racing. I like watching it, I like talking about it and I like doing it. Even if "doing it" involves me attacking an imaginary group while I'm on a solo ride.

I think back to the SF Flow ride I did last month. I was definitely the slow guy. I don't think I finished last, and I did the whole course, but I was literally hours behind the winners. I don't like that.

Of course, my livelihood isn't dependant on my being able to ride fast and I lack the time required to train to get fast (and I lack the motivation to get up to ride at 4am, and stop eating really good food and drinking really good drink). But I still like the idea of riding fast, and wish I was better at it.

Now, to be clear, when I go for a ride I end up passing more than I get passed (by a lot, thank you very much). But any time I ride with anyone that I think would be fun to race against, well, it usually isn't because I end up on the verge of puking while they ride on up the road.

So what to do? Get better at accepting it? Not likely anytime soon. Train harder? Easier said than done. Keep on being annoyed by it? Yep, that sounds about right.

There are so many good rides around here, there have been a lot of great 'cross races in SF and around the Bay Area. But I haven't done any. Why? First, because I don't really want to do them on my fairly crappy mountain bike. Second, because crappy bike or not, I'll be far closer to the back than the front, and that's just not fun for me.

Ever since I was a little kid, I've been too quick to frustration when things didn't come easy to me (and yet I always find challenging hobbies, maybe I'm a closet masochist?).

I gave up racing when I couldn't be competitive- because I work a lot and don't have time to train (see above note about questionable motivation).

There are so many excuses for not being able to train enough, and it's so thankless. And it requires so much discipline- and sacrifice. I loves me some going out. Hard to imagine saying "No, I better skip the Truckers show, I want to get up early and ride tomorrow."

I guess if I was to advise me, I would quote Stuart O'Grady. HTFU!